blargh.

first off, i'd like to say that i have lately really been wishing i was in california. i don't know why, i just want to be there. maybe i just want to be anywhere but here, but cali sounds pretty darn good right now.
i'm really sick of viktorija and algiukas being stupid and mean to each other nearly all the time. i mean, i know it's normal for siblings to be annoying, but they're taking it to a bad extreme sometimes and it's just.... argh.
i'm excited that the weather is starting to warm up. that means soon, i'll be able to go sit outside rather than in my stuffy room.

i just finished watching an episode of gossip girl online. and right as it finished, i started thinking about how i have always wanted to be good at something, like really really good at it. and then i was like, well, why don't i just pick something and practice like crazy till i'm good. like, piano, flute, guitar, anything. then i thought... it's kind of hard to be just amazing at one thing when i'm pretty good at a ton of things and don't particularly love any of them. like, everything i can do, i just kind of like it. there's nothing that really jumps out at me as something that i absolutely love doing... other than ice skating of course, but we all know that's never going to happen for me, so i don't even think about it anymore. it's just so hard for me to see people that are good at things and honestly love doing whatever it is they're good at... or even just love doing something so much that they don't care if they stink at it, they're just determined to get as good as they can at it because they love doing it so much. it's just really frustrating. and i don't know how to make it better. it makes me want to cry sometimes.

...at least i have friends now. a real bunch of friends. it's like i've always wanted it, but not quite as exciting. we talk a ton at school, just act goofy, and chill out of school too. it's a bunch of us that just are glued. it's great, but what's going to happen after school's done? are we going to keep in touch?

i have a painting sitting in my room. it's 1/4 done. i haven't touched it in a few months. i know i should finish it, but i just never am motivated enough to get up and just paint.

i have a drawing in my sketchbook that i started when i wasn't feeling too super. it made me feel better, but now it's just sitting there in it's unfinished beauty. i just am not always in the mood to draw.

i have my flute sitting in the corner collecting dust. i like to play when i know it will sound good, but i don't often feel like picking it up and practicing to make it get back to that point if i haven't touched it in a while.

we have a keyboard, but once it gets too hard, i don't really feel like going slow and learning.

i can play guitar... kind of... but once i get to the same point every time, i put it down and say 'enough'.

i like being a graceful ballerina, but that involves money to pay for classes at a studio, and i don't have that.

i like yoga, but only sometimes. it's relaxing.

i like to run, but not really. only because it makes me energized and feel better about myself, even though i can't see any results from my treadmill-ing. i want to be thin. that's my motivation for that. but i don't even think it's working.

i like baking and cooking, but i don't like our kitchen.

i like photography, but i need new subjects. i've been around my yard and back a million times.

i like cutting hair, but school isn't challenging enough for me.

i like looking at photography in magazines and fashion/designer ads like in vogue, but what good does that bring.

i wish there was somewhere i can go right now. i just want to drive. drive far away. go somewhere. do something. be in the sun. see the blue skies. maybe if i drive fast enough to the west i can beat the sunset. don't i wish. maybe if i drive east, i can lose time and waste it wishing. i don't want to be here. but ask me where i'd rather be, and i'm not so sure i'd have an answer for you. why can't i just pack up my cat and my stuff and my andrei [stupid work ruins just about all hope of any fun and spontaneity] and just go. away. somewhere. sunny. with a beach. let's just run away forever.

woot.

i can see clearly now....

i went to the optometrist!
the smart one!
in mokena!
that i like!
and i can see again!
yay!
i like going to the optometrist!
yes, yes i do!



goodbye for now.

exciting.

wow, so today. so cool.
ally and i went to mc cormick place for the 'america's beauty show'.
it was pretty stinkin' awesome.
really. cool. stuff.

so we get there eventually after a missed exit and some gps usage... and we had to walk through what seemed like forever's worth of tunnels and hallways and what not... we get in and like BAM! there's tons of music and noise and people and models and displays and lights just everywhere. so much to look at. so so so much.

we stopped and looked at the Aquage stage for a little since they're the first ones you see when you walk in. i used to use their stuff btw, and totally loved it.
they were doing some haircuts on the stage. cool!

then we wandered about for a bit and eventually found the Paul Mitchell maze of product, displays, and the stage. we watched them do some cutting and coloring for a while. they did some nutso stuff up there. crazy colors and not so wearable cuts. haha. one girl from our school was actually a model for them. her hair looked alright though. but oh my goodness, their clothes they had to wear were horrendous. so goofy. really out there, ugly, and very sequined and shiny. then after a little bit of watching that, we wandered some more.

tons of booths with shears of all sorts, capes, clips, hair extensions, products... oh my!

the Schwarzkopf area was pretty cool. i used to use their stuff too and loved it. they had a bunch of stuff for like $2 so i bought a 'texture wave and curl defining cream' the texture of it feels just like my favorite curl product. so we shall see. and in the bag they put the product in, there was a little like, cosmetics bag or something of the sort in there, like free gift, woot. and it's cute too.

thennnn more wandering! we're good at that. we saw tons more you guessed it.... product, shears, and random other stuff!
woot.
then we headed over the the 'Sexy Hair' company's area. they had some crazy show ending as we got there. their area was soooooooooo loud. like, so loud. and really high energy. so ally and i were standing way in the back and one of the girls that worked there asked ally if she'd like to be a model for an updo. so ally signed a waiver and was told to be back there at 1:30. we had 20 min, so we wandered a bit more, watched the Redken stage for a little while, looked at some more product, and then headed back to Sexy Hair.

so the lady was there and said that i could come with her, but wasn't going to be a model for anything. (i'm guessing cuz my hair wasn't cool enough or something. ally's hair i colored.... it's dark brown with blonde at the top and orange and blonde chunks throughout) anyway, so she took us like, a million miles away, which as you might know, is totally probable at mc cormick place... so we got to go in the way back where each of the bigger lines with stages and models had their 'way backstage' prep area/hangouts set up. at the sexy hair back area they had models, tables, hair supplies, and food. the lady then curled ally's hair. a few other girls came in that had agreed to be models a few minutes later. they were there to get their hair wet down and combed through and detangle sprayed to be ready for cutting. all the while models are just being crazy and energetic and changing and stuff getting ready to leave and the stylists are just wandering about. the one lady asked if i'd be willing to be a model. i asked for what. she said a cut. i asked what they'd do. she said they'd probably cut it all off. i was like, well if it was last year, i would have done it, but this year for once i'm letting it grow out... i texted andrei and he was like... ' no no no' and ally told the girl that if i did it, everyone at school would kill me. (because i'm like, the only one almost with natural colored hair... and long hair. still.) OH, and all the girls that agreed to be models got bags with free product in them. they let me have one too! shweet! i got a styling cream, hydrating pumpkin shampoo, and enzyme mist pre-styler spray in my bag (all full size!) from their new 'healthysexyhair' line. so then we headed way a million miles away back to the stage and i went to take a seat while ally and the other girls went backstage.

the music was sooo loud and just really energetic remixes of stuff. then after a quick movie about their school in california, everyone came on stage and just started their magic. one girl got her short hair cut even shorter, but it looked so good when the guy finished, another girl got her medium hair cut kind of short, it looked really good though when it was done. i loved how it was styled. just perfect, like, messy, just shake it around, really textur-y, almost like out of a magazine or something. another girl that went in with really long long hair- past mid back- that was all just one length and flat, got layers and some fringe (bangs) that just swept across her face nicely. her hair looked so much nicer. it actually had some style going on in there. then there was another girl that got a nice curled updo, nothing special. and there was also ally, who got a kind of rocker looking curly almost to the side, mohawk like (as the stylist explained it) updo. it was just really cool looking. i liked it. a lot.
it was just really cool to watch it all. it was like, a nutso hairstyling free for all on the stage. amazing stuff.

oh, and i bought a 'slept in' texture cream from them too. haha. i like texture creams, can ya tell?

so then we wandered our way over to Paul Mitchell again to watch their stuff again (our school is affiliated with them after all, so might as well). they did some cuts and colors, but we already saw that stuff on DVD at school, so it wasn't anything new, but it was still fun to watch in real.

then, at 4, maybe half the lights went out since that's when the main show was scheduled to close, so we headed out.

we spent like, 5 hours there.... no way! haha, it was sooo cool though. like, awesome!

THEEENNNNNN, on the way home, ally was like, i want coffee... so i was like, we should go to this new place that just opened up that's on the way home if we take 83 to bell rd. so we went there. and it's amazing. it's called Saxbys Coffee. if you read this, you should go there... and bring everyone you know. just do it. do it!
i got a raspberry mocha and ally got a different raspberry latte. oh. my. goodness. they have so many flavor options... not even funny. at least 20. and this stuff really tastes good. yes, to the point where i would drive the extra 10 or so min to go out to homer glen for coffee instead of going to the starbucks in new lenox. then, as ally and i were sitting on the leather chairs by the fireplace, the owner of the place came and talked to us for a bit about the plans he has for it and how he'd love it if we spread the word about it. we totally agreed. because, well, it's sooo good!
also, as we sat there, the two workers there brought us each three samples of drinks. YUMMMM. oh, and we had samples of some scones. yum too! they brought us some sort of white chocolate 'frolatte' (like a frappachino) which was YUM. and strawberry smoothie, which was AWESOME. really smooth and no ice chunks. and a little bit later, a Kookie Monster blended creme.... YUM.
yeah, it was really good.

umm, so the day was pretty amazing, really. it was.
the only thing that could have made it better would have been seeing andrei. (aawwwww.)

yay for the hair show!
yay for saxbys!
yay for yays!