so, i just wanted to say how glad i am that i actually had my little christmas party. even though it was just viktorija, sarah, algiukas, mykolas, sandy, rachel, lina, and me... it was a really nice evening and i had A LOT a lot of fun.
finally, after knowing sandy and rachel for so long already, i'm being pretty much myself-myself around them for the first time ever. i think i'm just letting go of that insecurity/ shyness or whatever you'd call it and just letting myself be myself- out of class. thank goodness. its so much simpler... and much more fun. especially with these two, i'm ok. i know they don't care and will accept my insane-ness because they can be too sometimes... just not so sure to the extent that i can be... unless its harry potter! i think with some people i will never be able to be as relaxed and myself as i can be with others like rachel and marina and lina. its just different. just that unexplainable vibe you get from some people. hmmm, not going to get into unexplainable feelings about some people though. just don't want to now. you can go ahead and ask me though next time you see me if you remember. i told rachel some of this drama story at the beginning of the school year (if she remembers)... oh, but it just got better and better... interest wise, not in actuality... for me.
ANYWAY, tonight was AWESOME. i shall write more later, after tomorrow... shopping with rachel!
One of my FAVORITE songs ever its just so... sweet, and pretty... hey there delilah by plain white t's... i like the lyrics so much i'll use this song little by little through the next few posts...
"I'm a thousand miles away/But girl tonight you look so pretty/Yes you do/Time Square can't shine as bright as you/I swear it's true" : Hey There Delilah : Plain White T's
<3
Friday, December 29, 2006
Thursday, December 28, 2006
waiting.
so, i'm waiting for lina to get here.
rachel said i don't update very often... so i'll put something in now. i'll put more in for sure after tomorrow.
waiting stinks. i like having everything planned and to know the exact-ish time stuff will happen so there's very little waiting.
so my first ever, long awaited, 'post christmas christmas party' is today. it should be cool, but too bad so many people can't come. as if theyre dropping like flies. maggie- i didnt ever expect a response. she already said she wouldnt come last time i talked to her a few weeks ago. marina said she'd come for sure, but now she may not b/c of family issues. rachel is still coming (yay). sandy is hoping to come, but she's ill, so may be late or even not come. rachel t probably won't, but may. lina will! she's almost here! megan now can't b/c she can't breathe very well and its hurting her a ton. anne 'might' come, hopefully will. jessica i haven't heard from, so maybe?. my cousin laura already told me on tuesday she won't make it b/c her brother gave her the flu. viktorija's friend sarah probably, maybe won't come b/c she is now sick too. what is with this... this plague of sorts? oh, well so we may not be able to play capture the flag b/c of the sick people/ not enough people. we also may not be able to do the gift exchange/white elephant thing b/c not enough people. so lina just imed me and she's just leaving now. so she'll be here in an hour or so or less. ok, well at least i know now more precicely when to expect her, so i can go do stuff.
i had an omlette for breakfast with corn and cheese in it and a blueberry waffle too. yum!
oh, so i'm SO EXCITED... marina and i are going to the augustana concert jan. 25th at the metro. it'll be good. i saw them at millenium, park before the fray came when i went with megan and rachel. they are good! except that concert was outside and there were a ton of people and it was super super hot and sweaty and sticky out. this one will be better, especially in that respect. augustana!
ok, well my mom just got home, so i'm gonna go do stuff around to prep for people later. i promise i'll write more soon-ish!
"Drive the beach when it gets late/Moonlit night/Summer skies/We align with the ocean spray/'Cause tonight/I'm down/For whatever" : Down for Whatever : The Summer Obsession
<3
rachel said i don't update very often... so i'll put something in now. i'll put more in for sure after tomorrow.
waiting stinks. i like having everything planned and to know the exact-ish time stuff will happen so there's very little waiting.
so my first ever, long awaited, 'post christmas christmas party' is today. it should be cool, but too bad so many people can't come. as if theyre dropping like flies. maggie- i didnt ever expect a response. she already said she wouldnt come last time i talked to her a few weeks ago. marina said she'd come for sure, but now she may not b/c of family issues. rachel is still coming (yay). sandy is hoping to come, but she's ill, so may be late or even not come. rachel t probably won't, but may. lina will! she's almost here! megan now can't b/c she can't breathe very well and its hurting her a ton. anne 'might' come, hopefully will. jessica i haven't heard from, so maybe?. my cousin laura already told me on tuesday she won't make it b/c her brother gave her the flu. viktorija's friend sarah probably, maybe won't come b/c she is now sick too. what is with this... this plague of sorts? oh, well so we may not be able to play capture the flag b/c of the sick people/ not enough people. we also may not be able to do the gift exchange/white elephant thing b/c not enough people. so lina just imed me and she's just leaving now. so she'll be here in an hour or so or less. ok, well at least i know now more precicely when to expect her, so i can go do stuff.
i had an omlette for breakfast with corn and cheese in it and a blueberry waffle too. yum!
oh, so i'm SO EXCITED... marina and i are going to the augustana concert jan. 25th at the metro. it'll be good. i saw them at millenium, park before the fray came when i went with megan and rachel. they are good! except that concert was outside and there were a ton of people and it was super super hot and sweaty and sticky out. this one will be better, especially in that respect. augustana!
ok, well my mom just got home, so i'm gonna go do stuff around to prep for people later. i promise i'll write more soon-ish!
"Drive the beach when it gets late/Moonlit night/Summer skies/We align with the ocean spray/'Cause tonight/I'm down/For whatever" : Down for Whatever : The Summer Obsession
<3
Sunday, December 17, 2006
afterthoughts.
hmmm, afterthoughts, that was a good store, i wish it still existed... anyway,
so, i'm looking forward to seeing rachel tomorrow, i think we will actually have stuff to talk about. i hope it'll be a nice time.
i was just looking at my old blog... from like 2 years ago... weird, but i still remember what happened that i wrote about pretty well, but reading it from when it actually did happen is cool. and what i like about what i did for the blogs then is that i added a random song lyric to the end of the post. i think i'll try to start that up again. maybe, but not this time. i like song lyrics.
well i guess thats it. gilmore girls?!
<3
so, i'm looking forward to seeing rachel tomorrow, i think we will actually have stuff to talk about. i hope it'll be a nice time.
i was just looking at my old blog... from like 2 years ago... weird, but i still remember what happened that i wrote about pretty well, but reading it from when it actually did happen is cool. and what i like about what i did for the blogs then is that i added a random song lyric to the end of the post. i think i'll try to start that up again. maybe, but not this time. i like song lyrics.
well i guess thats it. gilmore girls?!
<3
a whole lot of thinking.
So, i was thinking the other day, about some stuff that i had previously said about oh i wish i was this n this n this, whatever, well.....
i decided, that i like who i am. i don't want to participate more in class- i like just listening and soaking it all in and just taking notes and watching it all, i like being as unpredictable as i am- it keeps things more interesting- for everyone- i suppose, i like being so energetic so often, i like randomly running around, dancing and jumping, i like having eveything planned out to the last detail- most of the time, i like being silly, i like sitting in corners- even if im not in a bad mood or tired (but often do because i am), i like to get excited over little things, i like enjoying the sun, rain, and snow- even if it means getting wet, i like only having a few friends, i like taking the occasional chance, i like spontinaity- (oh, heres one though-) i just wish there was more of that and i'd allow for it... i guess now that i think about it, i really am quite content. really.
so, i just have one change of plans potentially, i hope i like snowboarding- i'd love to be on the team at school next year, and then i could take dance classes for credit- since their dance department is so great they have all kinds of stuff- including the basic technique classes for tap, ballet, jazz, and modern. i'd love to do BALLET! and jazz. i love watching snowboarding. i just hope i like it. i just want something new.
and as for break, its been a week, feels like its been a month, and yet i'm not bored of it yet. i would be going ballistic though if i had gone away for school and gotten used to sharing a room and having people to hang out with pretty much around every imaginable corner, nearly just overflowing the buildings, and then gone to nobody around. i'd be going through such separation anxiety of sorts. i think. maybe. it would be strange for sure though. a tranquil, relaxing, nice strange though.
so, i just checked my online banking... my last pay check thing has been put in from the ice arena. i left on the 5th. simply because it took far too long to get there from home and i was sick of pretty much being alone at the front desk with nothing to do but homework the whole time. i dont like being alone when you know there are so many people around. its too bad though, the manager got so many compliments about me and i guess i was even mentioned as being one of the 2 best employees at the rink during the meeting the staff had, which i missed. the manager even said that he liked me better than his own kids. a bit weird, but cool i guess...? and he absolutely hates kids. and then he said that if i ever want to, just to give him a call for a job and he'll hire me back in a second. cool. thats really good. surprisingly, i dont miss going to work though... i liked it for the parts of the night when i did get to talk to people- especially the zamboni drivers. they were so amusing. one in particular- i dunno if its out of the ordinary for a guy to o this, but he noticed that my nailpolish changed colors (when i had the rainbow polish on) and made a polite comment about that, and he commented about my shoes one day- when i wore different ones than my usual. i just found that a bit out of the ordianry for a guy to do. so i thought i would miss the 3 zamboni guys that were there tues. nights, the random Brooks, and Kelly- he would randomly pop in to the office just to say hi to me. really i dont miss them at all. well, i guess jason and kelly, well brooks too.... i guess i do miss those guys a bit now that i think about it. ik. i guess i was just avoiding thinking about it. oh well. i guess.
well, i kind of want to watch some gilmore girls not sure if i will though, we shall see what i feel like doing in like 5 min. so, laterz
<3
i decided, that i like who i am. i don't want to participate more in class- i like just listening and soaking it all in and just taking notes and watching it all, i like being as unpredictable as i am- it keeps things more interesting- for everyone- i suppose, i like being so energetic so often, i like randomly running around, dancing and jumping, i like having eveything planned out to the last detail- most of the time, i like being silly, i like sitting in corners- even if im not in a bad mood or tired (but often do because i am), i like to get excited over little things, i like enjoying the sun, rain, and snow- even if it means getting wet, i like only having a few friends, i like taking the occasional chance, i like spontinaity- (oh, heres one though-) i just wish there was more of that and i'd allow for it... i guess now that i think about it, i really am quite content. really.
so, i just have one change of plans potentially, i hope i like snowboarding- i'd love to be on the team at school next year, and then i could take dance classes for credit- since their dance department is so great they have all kinds of stuff- including the basic technique classes for tap, ballet, jazz, and modern. i'd love to do BALLET! and jazz. i love watching snowboarding. i just hope i like it. i just want something new.
and as for break, its been a week, feels like its been a month, and yet i'm not bored of it yet. i would be going ballistic though if i had gone away for school and gotten used to sharing a room and having people to hang out with pretty much around every imaginable corner, nearly just overflowing the buildings, and then gone to nobody around. i'd be going through such separation anxiety of sorts. i think. maybe. it would be strange for sure though. a tranquil, relaxing, nice strange though.
so, i just checked my online banking... my last pay check thing has been put in from the ice arena. i left on the 5th. simply because it took far too long to get there from home and i was sick of pretty much being alone at the front desk with nothing to do but homework the whole time. i dont like being alone when you know there are so many people around. its too bad though, the manager got so many compliments about me and i guess i was even mentioned as being one of the 2 best employees at the rink during the meeting the staff had, which i missed. the manager even said that he liked me better than his own kids. a bit weird, but cool i guess...? and he absolutely hates kids. and then he said that if i ever want to, just to give him a call for a job and he'll hire me back in a second. cool. thats really good. surprisingly, i dont miss going to work though... i liked it for the parts of the night when i did get to talk to people- especially the zamboni drivers. they were so amusing. one in particular- i dunno if its out of the ordinary for a guy to o this, but he noticed that my nailpolish changed colors (when i had the rainbow polish on) and made a polite comment about that, and he commented about my shoes one day- when i wore different ones than my usual. i just found that a bit out of the ordianry for a guy to do. so i thought i would miss the 3 zamboni guys that were there tues. nights, the random Brooks, and Kelly- he would randomly pop in to the office just to say hi to me. really i dont miss them at all. well, i guess jason and kelly, well brooks too.... i guess i do miss those guys a bit now that i think about it. ik. i guess i was just avoiding thinking about it. oh well. i guess.
well, i kind of want to watch some gilmore girls not sure if i will though, we shall see what i feel like doing in like 5 min. so, laterz
<3
Thursday, December 14, 2006
ha
so that last post i put up, of the one i wrote in november, i quickly skimmed it and wow, that was from when i wanted nothing to do with school and to just be a hairstylist. my, how i've changed my mind in such a short time. just one month ago. i'm glad a changed my mind to how it is now... i like my plan. i just needed to convince myself of it. again. ha, i change my mind a lot, don't i? oh well, thats how it is. i make up a plan, then un-convince myself of it, then plan something new, then usually go back to the original. i just need that time to think and realize that what i want in the first place is indeed what i want.... b/c now i'm totally back to my original intention with schooling- elementary ed, art, and skating. because that is really what i want. no matter what i say. that is it. and that is what i will get. and i'm looking forward to it. next year.
<3
<3
from the other... nov.12, 2006...
HA i knew I had started one, it was just a matter of finding it.... when i transferred it tp the 'new' blogger that goes thru my google account, the older one showed up.... so i'll just transfer it here b/c i like my new one better.... this is from like November 12th...
first off, this was in my title description box. i like it. :
what would we do if everyone just got along? everything would be so dull. think about it...
cookies
hmmm so maybe I'll start writing again in a blog? who knows.anyway, so today i was supposed to make cheesecake with marina, but it was so gloomy and just a very lazy day in general until maybe 6 or 7, so we didn't do anything. i really felt like doing nothing. just sitting there for the longest time today. i think it was a combination of dehydration and exhaustion that just did it for me. i figure this because i felt dizzy (i guess thats what it would be called?) when i stood up a lot today. not good. anyway, i'm still tired, but not so aweful anymore in general.i made honey orange chicken stir fry for dinner. it was pretty amazing.then i supervised viktorija and algiukas when they made cookies. they were pretty amusing... they actually spent all day together and got along super well. no fighting. super unusual, but definately a good thing. anyway, so i definately got my finger caught in the hand mixer and now it is bruised, swollen, and has a cut. and hurts, but not nearly as much as it did a few hours ago. thank goodness. my mom says it is just badly bruised. my sister says it is broken. who knows, but it is semi-numb.so, i'm going to go to TrendSetters college of cosmetology starting in January instead of Lewis. I think it'll be fun. then after that's done i think i'll take some random classes at jjc- perhaps for fashion merchandising, photography, and random baking classes too. those sound like fun. i am just not looking forward to seeing family over thanksgiving- they'll ask how school is and i'll have to tell them. i bet ya i'll be hearing oh, but you're so much smarter than that... sure that may be the case, i know, but i think i'd enjoy it. and to me, that's pretty important. as it is i don't ever want to work. ever. how aweful would it be to do something i don't like doing? i just hope they won't freak on me. otherwise i'd have just my immediate family and my cousins on my side. ahhh. i really don't want to tell teta jadze and ed. ed will have a freak out. but you know, i don't care. i don't like him. i can do whatever i want. yes. i can.hmmm.... school is rediculous. so much for all the supposed homework and crazy workload we were supposed to be getting once we get to the dreaded 'college'. i was expecting a lot of work. honestly, it is barely more and barely harder than high school. no joke. i get so much homework than marina and i have 'forgotten how to do homework'. yeah, you got that right.so even though i decided i have no interest in any of the 'traditional' majors and the need for lewis, i am super glad that i ended up going there for even just the one semester because i met two of the most amazing friends i could ever ask for. you have no idea how amazing it is to have friends like them finally. don't get me wrong, i have been so super lucky with my friends in the past (and well, theyre still amazing)!ummm, so work is stupid. i hate going, just because of the whole concept of having to go away from my friends and just sitting around to go to work. work is so dull. and i hate answering phones. so much. stupid manager dan has to like me better than his own kids, and i keep getting complimented- like one day someone asked dan if i was new because i'm apparently the most professional one in the office. geez. oh, and i hate skate guarding. so much. it hurts my knee and ankle. luckily i didnt go last week and not this weekend either. i'm going to have to go in next sat. might though. argh. it makes me sad that skating kills my knee and ankle so much. i love skating. so much.orchesis season at lincoln-way is starting up soon. viktorija said she heard announcements for try-outs. no wonder i have been in a dancing/ ballet mood now for a few weeks, its about that time of year. i really need to find myself a dance studio. i want to dance. i have to. i am so sick of just sitting around all day every day. i loved last monday when marina and i went to the hill/stage at night. i did leaps and ballet and just ran around on the grass. i needed that so bad. i wish i could do that every day. i wish it was warm enough to run in the grass with no shoes. its so cold outside and its just going to get worse. thank goodness its still fall. i love autumn time. its gorgeous and the air smells so crisp. its pretty amazing. winter is only amazing when it snows. its alright by me for it to be cold out as long as theres snow. theres no good excuse for the weather to be beyond cold if there is no snow to be seen.i want to learn to snowboard this winter. i will. it looks like fun. who knows, maybe i'll be good at it.i love my room. it is amazing.i need to get away. away from the area, the state, my family. i just have to. i just have no idea how to go about doing so. i have to start doing things on my own. i just feel like i dont know how. how to do anything.nilla just came to sit next to me. shes a pretty awesome cat and i usually do not like cats. shes like a dog in some ways. she follows me around when im home, but when im not home, she stays away from people and sits in my room. i want a dog. one that is smaller than cocoa, but bigger than nilla. so i could still hold it and carry it around, but not so small that id be stepping on it all the time.
i want to have a christmas party. and i will this year finally. christmas is amaizng.
im excited for florida in january, but am not letting myself get too excited until plans are finalized and we are actually going. i was supposed to go to california last summer, but that never happened. i was supposed to go this upcoming summer, but probably wont seeing as how i will have classes... argh
anyway, i should get to sleep. its 1:35 am. crazy.
first off, this was in my title description box. i like it. :
what would we do if everyone just got along? everything would be so dull. think about it...
cookies
hmmm so maybe I'll start writing again in a blog? who knows.anyway, so today i was supposed to make cheesecake with marina, but it was so gloomy and just a very lazy day in general until maybe 6 or 7, so we didn't do anything. i really felt like doing nothing. just sitting there for the longest time today. i think it was a combination of dehydration and exhaustion that just did it for me. i figure this because i felt dizzy (i guess thats what it would be called?) when i stood up a lot today. not good. anyway, i'm still tired, but not so aweful anymore in general.i made honey orange chicken stir fry for dinner. it was pretty amazing.then i supervised viktorija and algiukas when they made cookies. they were pretty amusing... they actually spent all day together and got along super well. no fighting. super unusual, but definately a good thing. anyway, so i definately got my finger caught in the hand mixer and now it is bruised, swollen, and has a cut. and hurts, but not nearly as much as it did a few hours ago. thank goodness. my mom says it is just badly bruised. my sister says it is broken. who knows, but it is semi-numb.so, i'm going to go to TrendSetters college of cosmetology starting in January instead of Lewis. I think it'll be fun. then after that's done i think i'll take some random classes at jjc- perhaps for fashion merchandising, photography, and random baking classes too. those sound like fun. i am just not looking forward to seeing family over thanksgiving- they'll ask how school is and i'll have to tell them. i bet ya i'll be hearing oh, but you're so much smarter than that... sure that may be the case, i know, but i think i'd enjoy it. and to me, that's pretty important. as it is i don't ever want to work. ever. how aweful would it be to do something i don't like doing? i just hope they won't freak on me. otherwise i'd have just my immediate family and my cousins on my side. ahhh. i really don't want to tell teta jadze and ed. ed will have a freak out. but you know, i don't care. i don't like him. i can do whatever i want. yes. i can.hmmm.... school is rediculous. so much for all the supposed homework and crazy workload we were supposed to be getting once we get to the dreaded 'college'. i was expecting a lot of work. honestly, it is barely more and barely harder than high school. no joke. i get so much homework than marina and i have 'forgotten how to do homework'. yeah, you got that right.so even though i decided i have no interest in any of the 'traditional' majors and the need for lewis, i am super glad that i ended up going there for even just the one semester because i met two of the most amazing friends i could ever ask for. you have no idea how amazing it is to have friends like them finally. don't get me wrong, i have been so super lucky with my friends in the past (and well, theyre still amazing)!ummm, so work is stupid. i hate going, just because of the whole concept of having to go away from my friends and just sitting around to go to work. work is so dull. and i hate answering phones. so much. stupid manager dan has to like me better than his own kids, and i keep getting complimented- like one day someone asked dan if i was new because i'm apparently the most professional one in the office. geez. oh, and i hate skate guarding. so much. it hurts my knee and ankle. luckily i didnt go last week and not this weekend either. i'm going to have to go in next sat. might though. argh. it makes me sad that skating kills my knee and ankle so much. i love skating. so much.orchesis season at lincoln-way is starting up soon. viktorija said she heard announcements for try-outs. no wonder i have been in a dancing/ ballet mood now for a few weeks, its about that time of year. i really need to find myself a dance studio. i want to dance. i have to. i am so sick of just sitting around all day every day. i loved last monday when marina and i went to the hill/stage at night. i did leaps and ballet and just ran around on the grass. i needed that so bad. i wish i could do that every day. i wish it was warm enough to run in the grass with no shoes. its so cold outside and its just going to get worse. thank goodness its still fall. i love autumn time. its gorgeous and the air smells so crisp. its pretty amazing. winter is only amazing when it snows. its alright by me for it to be cold out as long as theres snow. theres no good excuse for the weather to be beyond cold if there is no snow to be seen.i want to learn to snowboard this winter. i will. it looks like fun. who knows, maybe i'll be good at it.i love my room. it is amazing.i need to get away. away from the area, the state, my family. i just have to. i just have no idea how to go about doing so. i have to start doing things on my own. i just feel like i dont know how. how to do anything.nilla just came to sit next to me. shes a pretty awesome cat and i usually do not like cats. shes like a dog in some ways. she follows me around when im home, but when im not home, she stays away from people and sits in my room. i want a dog. one that is smaller than cocoa, but bigger than nilla. so i could still hold it and carry it around, but not so small that id be stepping on it all the time.
i want to have a christmas party. and i will this year finally. christmas is amaizng.
im excited for florida in january, but am not letting myself get too excited until plans are finalized and we are actually going. i was supposed to go to california last summer, but that never happened. i was supposed to go this upcoming summer, but probably wont seeing as how i will have classes... argh
anyway, i should get to sleep. its 1:35 am. crazy.
whoa.
ok, so i was putting in my location on the profile on this blogger thing... there are SO MANY countries out there. why does the US think it is so amazing? dont get me wrong, its alright, the weather is decent, theres a variety of terrain, but there are SO MANY COUNTRIES... its amazing.
oh, and by the way, canadians have cool accents.
lol its 12:34 am.
viktorija says my 'accent' is too unique for a label. its a combo of a bunch... southern, east coast, west coast, non-accent, and canadian. i guess, so she says. i agree i guess. it really varies day by day... keeps things more interesting i suppose.
just thought i'd share.
oh and my last entry. wow. that is crazy loooonnnggg.
oh, and by the way, canadians have cool accents.
lol its 12:34 am.
viktorija says my 'accent' is too unique for a label. its a combo of a bunch... southern, east coast, west coast, non-accent, and canadian. i guess, so she says. i agree i guess. it really varies day by day... keeps things more interesting i suppose.
just thought i'd share.
oh and my last entry. wow. that is crazy loooonnnggg.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
hmm...
ok, so i really thought i started this blog thing up a while ago, but i guess not. anyway....
SO, I feel like a bum right now. Everyone else at Lewis is taking finals this week and I somehow magically don't have anything to do. My only final was a 'take home' physics one and i got it done in maybe 45 min and turned it in the next day. done. So this week, rather than going in to my oh so super favorite place in the whole wide world... Lewis. whoo. I've been doing a lot of not much. Monday I well, played Sims and made an apple pie. Tuesday I went to Orland, did some shopping. Wednesday- i guess that was today, hmm. I wrapped some presents, watched tv, made some hot chocolate mix... now i'm here. i've done a whole lot of NOTHING! and it hasn't even been a whole week yet. i only start class again January 17th!!!! ik. so looong. I guess I shouldn't complain. I really really dislike Lewis.
I cannot wait for next school year. Well, first I need to apply to some places, but I'm certainly not staying at Lewis. I would like to be at Western Michigan, studying elementary education and art, all the while making new friends, meeting new people, and unless I fall in love with snowboarding enough to join their team, figure skating once again and competing. i want to skate so bad. i dont even know if its explainable how much i want to skate and compete again. right now, pretty much one of like, my top three things i want to do is to learn how to do a double jump. that would be amazing. watching skating on tv and the cutting edge movie surely do not help my cause. watching skating only makes me want to skate even more. i'm hoping my mom will agree to pay for some coaching and ice time... she agreed to it a few months ago, but i never did, so maybe i will now? i hope so. i really want this.
oh, so i was thinking, what in the world can you learn in class to teach you to be a teacher? i think i'd be fine as of now without any formal training, but i guess it would be somewhat helpful? i dont even know. and the art classes are totally in there just for fun. yep. oh, i have painting next semester, so excited, ive always wanted to learn to paint and i hope this actually helps.
next semester is going to flyyyy by. jan 17th i go back, feb has no breaks, march will be crazy. spring break march 3-11 and then i'll be in MEXICO march 16-23. SO EXCITED for that trip. i'm going with my grandparents and cousin Laura. grandparents are way cool and my cousin, i dont spend nearly enough time with her (kind of a story behind why... kinda long and i'm not sharing), but totally should b/c she is wayy coool too. i hope it'll be fun and i'm not just getting excited for nothing... and i hope all that school i'm missing will be worth it. i figure, all i really have to do is pass and get into WMU b/c the gpa's start fresh once you transfer... and plus do gpa's in college really matter? i don't really think so... anyway, so after mexico, like a week and a half later, easter break april 5-9 then 3 1/2 weeks before finals. it'l fly by, then i'll be out of there. summer break! sunshine, beach, basketball, sitting outside, reading... summer is so great. and then i shall start fresh at a new school once more, but i'm like 99% sure i'll like it better.
so when i was feeding nilla, i was thinking, why am i typing in this blog thing. i'm not so fond of sharing my feelings with the world, or for that matter, most of my friends even. i don't really tell anyone anything. ever. i don't really even know if most of my friends even know as much about me as they think they do... except for maybe two of them and my mom, but even they don't know all that much... its such a pain sometimes keeping everything to myself... that's probably why it takes so long for me to fall alseep. i'm always thinking. about everything. well, i know thats the reason. my family sees me as the crazy weird one that frequently goes insane, people in my classes and my teachers see me as super super quiet, but decently intelligent, and i dont even know what my friends see me as- they i think get some strange mixture between my quiet school self and my crazy family self.
but it is easier for me to put how i feel into words than to actually tell someone, so maybe i will here? don't know, we shall see. ha, maybe no one will even read this ever.
right now, i want a lot... within reach- i'd like to stop eating so much. i think i'm getting back to normal eating wise since i've been on break. school is aweful the way i'm doing it in terms of eating... since the food is so expensive i pretty much have my breakfast, then maybe a granola bar during the day to last till i get home and have dinner then go on an eating rampage to make up for not eating all day, then i go to sleep. i like my 'break' eating schedule better- its like this over summer too.... i have a small breakfast, then every hour or so i have a small snack like fruit, yogurt, string cheese, juice, toast, something like that. oh and i drink a lot of water. a lot a lot. then im in school and its like the world is thrown off. not good. oh and this year i don't have gym. surprisingly i need it. i used to hate it. so i've been doing some running on the treadmill occasionally... one day i went 2 1/2 miles or playing ddr. i cannot just sit around all day. i just can't. thats probably why my family gets the crazy me... cuz i do nothing all day then i just let the energy out at home and just run around and jump and dance and such... ok anyway, so back to what i want...eat less, oh, cut down on all that sugar i've started eating... it is very not good for anyone to eat so much sugar. i'm getting better, once again, it's gotten better since i've started break. school is messing with my eating... i cant wait til next year when i wont have to think about how much my food is costing and just eat when i want. ok, also, well, it'll happen, but i want long hair. i know, i just cut it, but somehow my hair is staying fresh cut healthy, so when its long, i dont think itll have split ends and stuff, so i wont have such a crazy desire to just go chop it all off. ok, what else... well ive already started using less makeup, thank goodness my face skin decided to finally be nice and decently clear. it hasnt since like 7th grade. ik. hmmmm, ok, so theres nothing really in my control right now that i want and can change willingly that i am not already doing now that i think of it. haha. all i really really want now is to ice skate!.
as for stuff i dont really have control over, i would love to be more trusting of people... hmmm, i'd love to stop liking a particular someone- but no matter how much i think i dont like him or dont want myself to like him- i still do- its as if i have no control over it. how messed up is that? i need to get past this whole mess of drama that happened at the beginning of the year. just move on. oh, but i try.
well, i'm getting bored of this, so i'm off to watch tv? or maybe i should sleep seeing as its after midnight... i sleep too much during break. 10 hours is too much. its almost half the stinkin day. 8 hours. cannot wait till my sleep has been caught up with from all that sleep deprived ness of last week- it was really bad. i was so tired every day. once thats done, i'll be back to sleeping almost exactly 8 hours every night unless im super tired. i like that. it was like that over the summer. i woke up 8 hrs after i fell asleep every day. ik. thinking of summer makes me think of nick. he dissappeared from my known world. one day we were talking on aim, the next he never comes online anymore. what happened? i miss talking to him. we were supposed to play tennis before school started. he was one that i feel kind of bad for how i treated him.... we were really good friends as how i see it, but as soon as i'd start feeling like we were getting to be close, friend wise- ya know?, i'd start to pull away and cut off contact, then after a week or a few i'd let him back in to my life. when i think about it now, it sounds like i liked him, but i never did- he walks a lil funny and his voice is annoying sometimes. i still miss him. i want to know he's somewhere and alright.
ik, ok, enough of that. i'm going to the tv or bed. laterz. <3
SO, I feel like a bum right now. Everyone else at Lewis is taking finals this week and I somehow magically don't have anything to do. My only final was a 'take home' physics one and i got it done in maybe 45 min and turned it in the next day. done. So this week, rather than going in to my oh so super favorite place in the whole wide world... Lewis. whoo. I've been doing a lot of not much. Monday I well, played Sims and made an apple pie. Tuesday I went to Orland, did some shopping. Wednesday- i guess that was today, hmm. I wrapped some presents, watched tv, made some hot chocolate mix... now i'm here. i've done a whole lot of NOTHING! and it hasn't even been a whole week yet. i only start class again January 17th!!!! ik. so looong. I guess I shouldn't complain. I really really dislike Lewis.
I cannot wait for next school year. Well, first I need to apply to some places, but I'm certainly not staying at Lewis. I would like to be at Western Michigan, studying elementary education and art, all the while making new friends, meeting new people, and unless I fall in love with snowboarding enough to join their team, figure skating once again and competing. i want to skate so bad. i dont even know if its explainable how much i want to skate and compete again. right now, pretty much one of like, my top three things i want to do is to learn how to do a double jump. that would be amazing. watching skating on tv and the cutting edge movie surely do not help my cause. watching skating only makes me want to skate even more. i'm hoping my mom will agree to pay for some coaching and ice time... she agreed to it a few months ago, but i never did, so maybe i will now? i hope so. i really want this.
oh, so i was thinking, what in the world can you learn in class to teach you to be a teacher? i think i'd be fine as of now without any formal training, but i guess it would be somewhat helpful? i dont even know. and the art classes are totally in there just for fun. yep. oh, i have painting next semester, so excited, ive always wanted to learn to paint and i hope this actually helps.
next semester is going to flyyyy by. jan 17th i go back, feb has no breaks, march will be crazy. spring break march 3-11 and then i'll be in MEXICO march 16-23. SO EXCITED for that trip. i'm going with my grandparents and cousin Laura. grandparents are way cool and my cousin, i dont spend nearly enough time with her (kind of a story behind why... kinda long and i'm not sharing), but totally should b/c she is wayy coool too. i hope it'll be fun and i'm not just getting excited for nothing... and i hope all that school i'm missing will be worth it. i figure, all i really have to do is pass and get into WMU b/c the gpa's start fresh once you transfer... and plus do gpa's in college really matter? i don't really think so... anyway, so after mexico, like a week and a half later, easter break april 5-9 then 3 1/2 weeks before finals. it'l fly by, then i'll be out of there. summer break! sunshine, beach, basketball, sitting outside, reading... summer is so great. and then i shall start fresh at a new school once more, but i'm like 99% sure i'll like it better.
so when i was feeding nilla, i was thinking, why am i typing in this blog thing. i'm not so fond of sharing my feelings with the world, or for that matter, most of my friends even. i don't really tell anyone anything. ever. i don't really even know if most of my friends even know as much about me as they think they do... except for maybe two of them and my mom, but even they don't know all that much... its such a pain sometimes keeping everything to myself... that's probably why it takes so long for me to fall alseep. i'm always thinking. about everything. well, i know thats the reason. my family sees me as the crazy weird one that frequently goes insane, people in my classes and my teachers see me as super super quiet, but decently intelligent, and i dont even know what my friends see me as- they i think get some strange mixture between my quiet school self and my crazy family self.
but it is easier for me to put how i feel into words than to actually tell someone, so maybe i will here? don't know, we shall see. ha, maybe no one will even read this ever.
right now, i want a lot... within reach- i'd like to stop eating so much. i think i'm getting back to normal eating wise since i've been on break. school is aweful the way i'm doing it in terms of eating... since the food is so expensive i pretty much have my breakfast, then maybe a granola bar during the day to last till i get home and have dinner then go on an eating rampage to make up for not eating all day, then i go to sleep. i like my 'break' eating schedule better- its like this over summer too.... i have a small breakfast, then every hour or so i have a small snack like fruit, yogurt, string cheese, juice, toast, something like that. oh and i drink a lot of water. a lot a lot. then im in school and its like the world is thrown off. not good. oh and this year i don't have gym. surprisingly i need it. i used to hate it. so i've been doing some running on the treadmill occasionally... one day i went 2 1/2 miles or playing ddr. i cannot just sit around all day. i just can't. thats probably why my family gets the crazy me... cuz i do nothing all day then i just let the energy out at home and just run around and jump and dance and such... ok anyway, so back to what i want...eat less, oh, cut down on all that sugar i've started eating... it is very not good for anyone to eat so much sugar. i'm getting better, once again, it's gotten better since i've started break. school is messing with my eating... i cant wait til next year when i wont have to think about how much my food is costing and just eat when i want. ok, also, well, it'll happen, but i want long hair. i know, i just cut it, but somehow my hair is staying fresh cut healthy, so when its long, i dont think itll have split ends and stuff, so i wont have such a crazy desire to just go chop it all off. ok, what else... well ive already started using less makeup, thank goodness my face skin decided to finally be nice and decently clear. it hasnt since like 7th grade. ik. hmmmm, ok, so theres nothing really in my control right now that i want and can change willingly that i am not already doing now that i think of it. haha. all i really really want now is to ice skate!.
as for stuff i dont really have control over, i would love to be more trusting of people... hmmm, i'd love to stop liking a particular someone- but no matter how much i think i dont like him or dont want myself to like him- i still do- its as if i have no control over it. how messed up is that? i need to get past this whole mess of drama that happened at the beginning of the year. just move on. oh, but i try.
well, i'm getting bored of this, so i'm off to watch tv? or maybe i should sleep seeing as its after midnight... i sleep too much during break. 10 hours is too much. its almost half the stinkin day. 8 hours. cannot wait till my sleep has been caught up with from all that sleep deprived ness of last week- it was really bad. i was so tired every day. once thats done, i'll be back to sleeping almost exactly 8 hours every night unless im super tired. i like that. it was like that over the summer. i woke up 8 hrs after i fell asleep every day. ik. thinking of summer makes me think of nick. he dissappeared from my known world. one day we were talking on aim, the next he never comes online anymore. what happened? i miss talking to him. we were supposed to play tennis before school started. he was one that i feel kind of bad for how i treated him.... we were really good friends as how i see it, but as soon as i'd start feeling like we were getting to be close, friend wise- ya know?, i'd start to pull away and cut off contact, then after a week or a few i'd let him back in to my life. when i think about it now, it sounds like i liked him, but i never did- he walks a lil funny and his voice is annoying sometimes. i still miss him. i want to know he's somewhere and alright.
ik, ok, enough of that. i'm going to the tv or bed. laterz. <3
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